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June 3, 2008 Volume 1, Issue #003-Self Esteem

Feature Article: Self Esteem by James Foster

A Note From Jim

Stress Teleseminar(In this Ezine. If you missed the call!)

This edition is offered in response to requests we’ve received for information about self esteem. The meaning of this term is exactly what it connotes. That is esteeming the self. Contrary to popular belief positive self esteem is not experienced as the result of being loved or from love being expressed to the child while he’s/ she’s growing up. Instead, it comes from a child being taught to praise themselves for their own accomplishments. Rather than an expression of affection, this requires that structure and expectations be a part of the child’s up bringing. The child is invited to participate in accomplishing something. The child is then praised for their efforts and accomplishments. The child develops a connection between their successes and feeling good and justified about the praise they’ve received overtime. The child feels good about themselves due to the quality of their endeavors. This in turn then becomes a positive self esteem. If a child receives unjustified praise for incomplete or non attempted endeavors they are likely to not develop the ability to realistically praise themselves and may develop a negative self esteem. If an adult is struggling with self esteem issues they clearly can address them through holding themselves to a realistic standard of accomplishments. It is important for the adult to praise themselves for their efforts and accomplishments. It is clear to the person that they have met with success but are unable to praise for incomplete or non attempted endeavors they are likely to not develop the ability to realistically praise themselves and may develop a negative self esteem. If an adult is struggling with self esteem issues they clearly can address them through holding themselves to a realistic standard of accomplishments. It’s important for the adult to praise themselves for their efforts and accomplishments. If it’s clear to the person that they have met with success but are unable to feel good about this, counseling may help. As we become more mature and sophisticated we find that a positive self esteem is experienced in relation to the process we employ and not simply the outcome. This allows us for example to feel good about the way we played a game despite not winning it. Or it allows us to feel good about the way we conducted ourselves in a conversation or did a day’s work despite a project not quite going as planned. Positive self esteem is the fuel that gets us to keep trying regardless of frustration, mishaps or even failure.

_________________________________________________________________ A Note From Jim:

Jim Foster here. On Thursday night, May22nd at 9:00 pm eastern time we offered our first teleseminar at no charge to all those who were interested. We discussed five ways to manage stress. If you were unable to attend we have provided the call in this Ezine. The call is in 5 parts. I hope that you enjoy it. ________________________________________________________________ TELESEMINAR

5 Ways to Manage Stress- You don't want to miss out on your last chance for this FREE teleseminar!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

_________________________________________________________________ WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, so long as you include this complete blurb with it: Entrepreneur and 30 year expert James Foster publishes the bi-weekly CounselingNH Ezine in the areas of family, marriage, relationships and parenting. If you are interested in quality information, tips and resources of ways to enhance your family, marriage, relationships and parenting visit this content rich site at http://www.counselingnh.com

All the Best,

Jim Foster