Divorce and Families

James Foster & Associates, LTD- Manchester

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Divorce is a commonly occuring phenomenon in our society today. It is usually the last option after a great deal of effort, pain, frustration and dissappointment has been experienced. Divorce may occur as the result of simply not getting along, a major issue affecting one or both people like addiction, gambling, abuse, long standing psychological issues or criminal behavior or perbaps as a slow and methodical process with a great deal of thought. Other times they occur suddenly and apparently without warning. Divorces are dramatically complicated when they involve custodial and visitation issues pertaining to children, shared properties and/or family businesses. Once the initial physical separation and subsequent legal actions have been taken the family members are left to develop their post divorce lives. They are frequently in a state of emotional turmoil. The world they thought they knew and understood has totally changed. They may be depressed, anxious and traumatized and may perceive the world with a great deal of intrepidation or resentment. They are likely to be afraid of or too eager for the next relationship.

Children of divorce may seem to be initially not affected but may need a great deal of reassurance, patience and structure as time goes on. It is highly recommended that adults and/or parents who are reassembling their lives after divorce do so with the help of counseling. This treatment will support and guide them through a difficult time. They will be helped to cope with the rush of emotions, doubts and conflicts that naturally arise in this situation. They will be assisted in assessing the extent to which they have been affected by this relationship and their divorce. Addressing unique internal issues and working through a complicated grieving process will also asist the parent in more thoroughly assessing the impact of the divorce on the children. The parent will be in a better position to help their children deal positively and constructively with the divorce after they achieved their own sense of resolution. Most people who have gone through divorce found it advisable and helpful to wait until some recovery has been accomplished before a serious subsequent relationship is begun.

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